Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Two Weeks....

So I'm two weeks into this whole being a mother thing. And let me tell you, it's been the most wonderful and the most stressful two weeks of my life. Tristan is the sweetest thing ever. I love watching him sleep just so I can catch a smile or a giggle when he's dreaming. His skin is so soft and I just love that new baby smell. Sometimes he falls asleep while holding on to my finger and I hope he never let's go. It's these moments that make me feel like I've got this being a mother role down pat.

Then there are the times when he's been fed and his diaper changed and yet I can't seem to console him. He only cries for a few minutes and then calms himself down, but it's during those few minutes that I begin doubting myself. I just hate not knowing the meaning behind those cries. I hate not knowing if there is something I should be doing to make him better. I know that babies are supposed to cry, that it's there only way of communicating, but it's still so hard.

There's also the lack ogf sleep that Jason and I have been experiencing. Tristan does so well during the day. We can give him a bottle, rock him for a few minutes and then put him down. He will sleep a couple of hours no problem. Then 10pm rolls around and it all changes. We give him a bottle, rock him for a few minutes and then put him down. Only now, he only sleeps about 45 minutes before he's up again. We've discovered that as long as he's being held he sleeps just fine-for hours even. So I end up holding him for the rest of the night. He sleeps great--me, not so much. Thank goodness for Jason. With him here, I can manage to sleep a few hours during the afternoon while he watches the baby.

Which brings me to the fact that Jason has to go back to work on Monday. I'm so not looking forward to this. Don't get me wrong, I feel like I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my son, it's just nice having that extra body around just in case. I'm also still a little sore from my C-Section. I can do most things, but there are still a few things that cause me some pain. I feel especially sorry for Jason. I know he is really dreading Monday. I'm just thankful that he loves us as much as he does. You see, if things work out the way we hope, I will get to stay home with Tristan full-time while Jason supports us. I truly am lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life--make that TWO wonderful men in my life.

Looking back on these past two weeks, I can honestly say I've learned a lot about being a mother--from smiles and giggles to surviving on little to no sleep. One things for sure, I wouldn't trade my baby boy for anything in the world because he makes it all worth it.


burseya said...

I totally feel ya on the crying stuff, by now, this being my third I've learned there are a few things that usually work. Giving them a nice bath, swaddling, sometimes a pacifier. Sometimes you just have to let them cry for a few mins. and they get worn out. Hopefully he'll get better for you. I remember with Juliana I would have to swing her back and forth and she would finally fall asleep and when I'd go to put her in her bed I'd rock her all the way until she finally reached the matress. Good luck momma!

Anonymous said...

You're doing great! Hang in there and you will find what works best for you and Tristan! I am proud of you and Jason - can't wait to get my hands on that little guy! Hang in there - it does get better!
Jenny :)