Monday, February 18, 2008

Three years later.....

Saturday marked the 3 year anniversary of my mom's death. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Jason, Sue Luehmann and I had just gotten back from breakfast in the hospital cafeteria. We had gotten some bacon and toast for dad because he wouldn't leave my mom's side. The doctor had given her something to make her comfortable the day all she would do know now was sleep until it was time for her to go. Jason had talked my dad into taking a break and going down to the waiting room. Sue and I promised him that we wouldn't leave her until he got back. I think she must have known when he left. She couldn't go in front of him. She took her last breath at 9:16am with Sue and I by her side. She looked so peaceful.

I'm not sure that it hit me right away -- my mom couldn't be gone. There was still so much I had to learn from her and so many things I had to tell her. When we finally left the hospital after being there for four days straight. The next couple of days were a blur. I can remember so many friends, family, teachers and students coming to her visitation to pay their last respects. I remember the words that we spoken at her funeral and the last time I saw her before they closed her casket for the last time. This is an experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Three years later, I still miss her more than ever. I would give anything for one more day with her. However, I have to take comfort in the fact that she is at peace. She is cancer free and in no more pain. She is happy. I have my own personal guardian angel. I know that I will see her again one day. I love you momma.